Living differently in the digital age

It all started with a dumbphone.

Ruth Gaskovski and her husband Peco, over at the brilliant School of the Unconformed asked people to share their stories of how they live differently in this digital age. Much of what they write resonates with my thoughts on The Unmachined, so I decided to share a little of my story to add to their project. I hope that you find it interesting…

How I live life differently in the digital age?

As I sat reading my book, in the fresh summer air, drinking tea out of an aluminium camping mug I felt the lightness. The feeling that I was in the world and a part of the world. Fully living in reality.

Inside the tent, tucked away somewhere under clothing or family detritus was the only link to the digital world. And as links go, this was more of a "two tin cans and a bit of string" digital link. A dumphone. Calls, texts and, well that was about it. And to add to it's uselessness only two people had the actual number for the phone, my mum and my wife.

'Lightness' - it's a wonderful feeling to have. And one that is fleeting in the modern world. But it's a feeling that I remembered from years ago. Back in the day before we all became more and more machined.

And getting back to that feeling of lightness, and as a parent passing it on to my son, is the main driver for how I have started to live differently in the digital age.

Before we continue though, I have to admit this is a work in progress. I have not arrived, I've not finished or won the race. Life changes, technology changes, my needs change. I make mistakes, I change my mind. It's a journey not a destination. The things I have done have made things incrementally better, but I can often improve and aim to do so.

Is this good for me?

We're often told that if you can be clear on the 'why' for anything, then the 'how' will be easier. I've completely taken this on board in my use of digital tools. One simple question helps me to decide whether to adopt a technology, keep it or drop it. And I ask this question regularly,

"Is this good for me?"

To get back to my opening paragraphs, I had noticed than if I had a smartphone on camping holidays I couldn't fully immerse myself in nature. This made it hard for me to be fully relaxed. I noticed other people’s and apps’ agendas directing my thoughts. I couldn't wind down. I didn't have the mental bandwidth to slow down and daydream. So when considering turning it off and having a holiday dumbphone instead, the clear answer to the question “Is ditching my smartphone for a simple emergency only dumb device good for me?” was a resounding YES.

So what do I do differently?

The dumbphone experiment was a tiny first step, a toe dip into the water. But it set a number of things in motion. I kept asking the question about any technology that I used, anything in the modern digital world that sometimes stole my focus, attention or peace of mind. Below, I'd like to outline some of changes I've made

I deleted Facebook and Twitter

These two networks made me angry, vain or egotistical. I wasted time arguing online with strangers. I wasted time judging myself against other people’s curated unreality. So I deleted my accounts and never looked back.

I removed any social apps from my smartphone

Whilst I continue to use LinkedIn and Instagram (although the latter is so near to going now) I made the decision to not have them installed as apps on my smartphone. Containing them on my laptop added the right amount of friction.

I continued to have a dumbphone to use on holidays and when wanting disconnection

I made a point of sometimes going out without any phone, smart or dumb, to remind myself that I used to do this for decades without the slightest worry. I find it refreshing.

My wife and I bought an old Hi-Fi system and started listening to CD's instead of streaming

This helped us to choose which album to listen to, to enjoy the whole package, and to avoid algorithms adding to my listening decision.

I bought a DVD player and now buy used DVD's to watch movies distraction free and at a low cost

This takes me back to the days of the video rental store. My film watching is more intentional, I don’t have to worry about movies dropping off streaming services for paid rivals, I can keep the movie if I love it or resell or donate it to charity. And all for less than the cost of renting from paid digital rental services.

I make an effort to schedule time to do activities with my son that cannot be done plugged in

We go running three times a week, we cycle, we walk, we recently took up paddle boarding. None of these lends themselves to looking at a screen.

I seek out quietness by turning off background TV

I’ve become aware of my need for quiet. If I’m inside I turn off the TV if I’m not actually watching something.

I’ve started taking a film camera with me to document memories without distraction

I began by taking a digital camera, which removed the smartphone distractions. But then I moved back to shooting on film. No screens to preview, the need to slow down and concentrate on composition. And the bonus joy of anticipation whilst waiting for prints or scans to arrive.

My wife and I choose areas to holiday or camp, that have poor or no mobile reception

We actively seek out areas where the digital realm finds it hard to invade. Wild places with poor signal, holiday lets without Wifi. The effects on our family are tangible.

As a family we now make time to sit and read paper books together

As a parent I’ve learned that instead of telling, demonstrate alternatives to digital. After battling to get our son to sit and read books, we decided that we would all do this together. It worked.

On my website, I created a hello page to be clear to others how I prefer to keep in touch

To make it easier to opt out of technologies I don’t agree with, I began to be positive about those I do. Email for example. Other people have since joined me in this which is lovely. (And if you want to join us, you’ll be very welcome)

I buy used paper books rather than order e-books on Amazon

Buying used from sites like World Of Books gives me paper reading, at a fraction of the cost of new. No digital rights, no e-ink screens, better for the environment. And something that can be sold, given or donated afterwards.

I use a Linux computer to remain in control of my digital tools

Instead of getting angry at how even Microsoft wants to distract or advertise, or how Apple wants to control, I spent time learning how to manage, customise and own my laptop and it’s OS.

When I am using my smartphone nearly all notifications are off and it's on silent

For now, I do still have an iPhone. But in addition to switching it off and leaving it at home on occasions, I also go through settings to make it as distraction free as possible.

When out and about I don't wear headphones

If I’m out walking, running or just pottering I never wear headphones. I take in the sounds of nature, the environment, or even listen to odd conversations around me which gives me material for my writing. I fully immerse.

When out and about I observe people around me

I notice how many are plugged in, looking at screens, listening to something not of their environment. It makes me sad, but determined to push back at the way we’re being changed. I also make eye contact and talk to people. This helps to redress the negativity.

I carry a paper notebook and pen

Small, often battered, my small notebook allows me to record thoughts without becoming distracted by a screen. When really bored, it even allows me to sketch, badly, for fun.

All of these changes have helped me to push back against the more negative effects of the machined culture. But, as I said before, this is all a work in progress. So if you’ve your own ideas or practices you’ve adopted, do share.

Ruth and Peco are collating other people’s experiences and as a thank you to contributors are offering a complimentary 6 month paid subscription to School of the Unconformed. You can find full details here.

That’s it for now.

Be kind and live well!

Comments? Insights? Join the discussion or email me.

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